Sunday, March 16, 2014

what I need to remember before judging too quickly

 Because I'd like everyone to go vegan RIGHT NOW, and can't understand the apathy and complacency of those who still eat animals. Especially if they've been exposed to at least some of the facts of animal agriculture. And because being vegan is so my normal, and so the world I've inhabited for more than five years, I want others to hurry up and get there already. But it may be wise for me to remember the following:

  • I didn't become vegan until I was 46
  • while I knew in grade school that the idea of animals performing stupid tricks for humans in circuses or aquarium amusement parks made me uncomfortable and sad, I couldn't really put into words why
  • in my early 20s I scoffed at a friend's sister becoming vegetarian because eliminating certain food products didn't make any sense to me if you weren't going to eliminate ALL animal-derived substances whether they be food, clothing, toothpaste or anything else, and of course, that was impossible
  • I had no idea at the time that the concept I was referring to was called veganism, and was much more possible than I imagined
  • when in my late 30s I actually ran across the term vegan, I too, asked what those weird vegans ate if they didn't eat meat, eggs, or dairy
  • when in my early 40s I was horrified one night by seeing a cat skinned and boiled alive on a TV documentary program and began to wonder how people decide what animals to eat and what ones to love, I found it too painful to contemplate for long, and put it out of my head for another couple of years
  • that it was only when I viewed an online video on factory farming (I don't even remember which one), that things finally went click, click, click...

So if it took me that long before I could even see, let alone connect, the numerous dots, then perhaps I need to practice the skill of patience and not demand that others become wise in far less time than I did?

Comments

Krissa said...

Good points. I've had to remind myself, too, how long it took me to actually get it even though I considered myself an "animal" lover my whole life.

Sometimes when I look back at how long it took me to get it when I should have, I can't understand why that was. You might remember, I was cruelty-free and didn't eat any animal products other than eggs and didn't wear animal products...I did believe the "kein Ei mit drei" campaign here (eggs are numbered 0-3 and 3 are supposedly the cruel ones, when in fact, they ALL are. But why I believed it, I'll never know. My cow friend is what got me to finally give up eggs and I know you remember that. But it did take so long. So yes, I guess we do have to have patience for others because there was a time where most of us vegans really didn't have a valid excuse at all for continuing the way we did either.

Sorry if this was rambling, my computer/internet is having problems and I've had to re-connect in the middle of this a few times. Grrr.

have gone vegan said in reply to Krissa...

Hey Krissa, sorry to hear of your computer woes, but no, you weren't rambling at all. And yeah, looking back it can be hard to see why we didn't see what we see so clearly now! It's more than hindsight, that's for sure.

But as veganelder eloquently states below, we mistakenly tend to think of change as an event rather than a process, and we don't tend to like change all that much.

veganelder said...

It is very difficult to apprehend and to remain persistently aware that "change" is often (always?) a process and not an event. Internal perceptions, assumptions, understandings, and meanings must all be configured in a "just so" way in order for "change" to occur. Often an "aha" moment is preceded by minutes, hours, days, months and sometimes years of large and small restructurings, factual intakes and experiential happenings. Motivation too plays a very very consequential role in this process.

Change can be disturbing and painful as well as exciting and exhilarating. Change can be frightening, even terrifying. Courage is no small element in many "change" processes.

Most, if not all, adults who "change" to a vegan outlook struggle with a few, some or all of the aforementioned phenomena. Makes ya wonder if maybe the question isn't why someone doesn't change but rather why someone does?

I'll shut up.

Thank you for your changing. :-)

have gone vegan said in reply to veganelder...

Good summation of change! I always quip that it took me 46 years to go vegan overnight, but as you say, it's really an accumulation of moments and insights and shifts. Change may look instantaneous, but it's a process, even when we don't recognize it.

Yep, amazing any of us manage to change at all given our almost innate reluctance.

And no, don't ever shut up on my account. ;)

Bea Elliott said...

Thank you for sharing with us the account of the processes you went through... I was a vegetarian (way back) when I was a teen. And then I got side-tracked with career, relationships and all the conveniences/compromises that I thought would make my life complete. For decades without guilt, I shrugged my shoulders with the excuse that "they" were dead already. And truthfully in my head they all just "died" from old age. I'm embarrassed to say this now, but I think it proves how relatively intelligent people avoid judging even themselves.

Lately I too am having a shift that requires adding patience to my tool-kit-for-change. I'm trying hard not to get attached to the outcome and am satisfied for the opportunity to plant seeds. They say it takes six generations for an idea to take hold. That makes us all pioneers for a better world! There are many who have live and died without a bit of the passion or vision we have. No, change won't happen quickly... But it *IS* happening even so! ;)

have gone vegan said in reply to Bea Elliott...

You're so welcome! :)

Yeah, I'm with you on the don't-get-too-attached-to-the-outcome mode of thinking. While that doesn't mean I don't try to spread the vegan word, ultimately I'm vegan because that's the set of values I adhere to, whether the rest of the world goes vegan with me or not. And as you said, there ARE changes happening, and certainly more of them and more quickly than even five years ago, so obviously some of us are doing something right. ;)

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