Well, back in my I-wish-I-were-a-hippie days (late 80s if I remember correctly), I often wore cotton skirts way below my knees but not quite long enough to hide my hairy legs, and while I wasn't surprised by people being surprised, I was taken aback by the amount of anger it generated. The hair on my legs not only grossed some people out, it really upset them. And while it never bothered anyone that I was in a personal relationship with, I can't tell you the number of strangers (men, women, of all ages) who would approach me and angrily demand to know why I didn't shave. My legs were a personal affront to them, and they sure let me know it. Although it was annoying at the time (and I soon gave up skirts altogether), I was also quite fascinated by the response and tried to figure out what was going on.
What I had done, of course, was breach public convention and upset the status quo. I had tampered with the notion of what a woman's body should look like and how she should present herself. In short, I had made people uncomfortable. It gave me a taste though of what it might be like to be pregnant and have strangers make remarks about something that is none of their business, or what it would be like to have a visible disability. But while folk don't usually get mad at expectant mothers or people in wheelchairs, choosing to flaunt convention sometimes made me feel I should get ready for a public flogging.
But what specifically does this have to do with veganism? Well, as you already know, daring to be different comes with a price. Seeing someone who doesn't look or eat the way you expect others to look and eat can be upsetting. And if something as innocuous and impersonal as a woman not shaving can send someone right out of their comfort zone (and forget their manners), then you can imagine how charged a topic food can be. While someone can easily dismiss a hairy faux pas, tee hee (after all, if every decent woman knows enough to shave then I don't have to think of this as an issue), eating is a bit too close to home. Most omnivores probably don't think too much about food beyond financial and health implications, and likely rarely consider that there may be political, environmental and animal-welfare consequences of their food choices until they encounter vegans. Seeing or hearing about someone who eats very differently but who belongs to a similar group can be jarring, especially if they do so because they don't want to consume animals. Because what does that imply or say about your own food choices? Not as easy to dismiss anymore.
And remember the popular slogan of the women's movement the personal is political? It was and still is, but the culinary is political too, and perhaps even more so.
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In many ways, femininity really is a social construction. Men, for the most part, are thought of as male without having to do too much extra. Get up, get dressed, get out the door, and you're not likely to be accused of not being masculine enough. Women on the other hand are required to take additional, and I would argue artificial, steps before showing up in public. Remove all body hair except for what grows on your head. Sorry, but if it wasn't natural for hair to grow in certain places, it wouldn't grow there. Head hair needs inordinate amounts of attention to be considered presentable: washed, dried, styled, gelled, sprayed, coloured, tinted, trimmed, and if female, not cut too short. But you're not done yet. Jewelry, accessories, shoes and clothes need to be picked out carefully. Ever notice how fashion shows and magazines are obsessed with women's clothes being feminine enough? But when was the last time you heard men's shirts being referred to as masculine, or that "masculinity" is the trend for this season? And staying away from the topic of cosmetic surgery to "improve" women (a whole post unto itself), what is natural about putting man-made colour onto nails, cheeks, lips and eyelids in order to be thought of as suitably feminine?
Now I'm not arguing here that women shouldn't shave, or pay attention to their hair, or wear makeup, but to just be aware that these are artificial constraints. And that what is considered feminine has been commodified, because sadly, appearance is still viewed as one of the most important aspects of being a woman. When was the last time you saw a female newscaster who wasn't attractive? Who wasn't wearing makeup? Just saying.
Gosh, haven't had a feminist rant like this in a long time. I feel quite refreshed, snort. Thanks for listening. ;)
Thanks for this terrific, insightful and validating post! I`m so glad I discovered you a few weeks ago (can`t even remember what I was reading that had a link to your blog).
Good for you! Oppression is an equal opportunity screwer-over of the less powerful. Opting out of oppressive/oppressed behaviors is always discomfiting to those who continue to participate.
In one scene George C. Scott's character (in that exquisite movie The Hospital) shouted out the window: "Power to the Impotent". I second that.
Or maybe we should begin viewing power like radioactivity. A very small amount might be ok but once it exceeds a certain level...the dangers pretty much seem to outweigh any possible positives. But...we seem to have a real real hard time figuring that out.
Where to begin... (insert smiley here). ... First I am going to say, I can not BELIEVE people had the nerve to come up to you and say anything about you not shaving your legs! That is truly unheard of in my world so I guess I was lucky. My teenage years were spent in Arkansas and a lot of my black girlfriends didn't shave and while it was noticed, nothing was made of it. A lot of my white girlfriends weren't allowed to shave until they were like 16. Regardless, even after I moved up to the Midwest, I saw women from time to time who didn't shave and no one ever accosted them for it. I'm sure there were nasty remarks made, but not to their face. I am really stunned that people had the audacity to approach you like that. I'm sorry you went through it.
I thought this post was going to be about Gillette (never ever buy any product by Gillette due to 'animal' testing) and other companies whose names I can't think of right now, but instead you really 'brought it' with so much to think about and such excellent observations...I hardly know where to begin. And I don't want to ramble, but I'm sure I will.
The older I've gotten, the less and less the hair on my legs grows to the point that I rarely have to shave. I do because I don't like the feel of it, but I have almost no hair now so it's good. I only buy razors from a couple store brands here who have vegan soap/cosmetics/food and aren't too pricey. The stores themselves aren't vegan, but they do carry all those products. Anyway...
"Most omnivores probably don't think too much about food beyond financial and health implications" - this. This is so important because it shows again how terribly misguided and ignorant folks (like we almost all were at one time) are. It is being proven over and over how unhealthy consuming 'animals' and products stolen from them is and yet people are so entrenched in their beliefs about health *requiring* consumption of said products. One of my brothers' friends from High School raised their kid vegan from birth and last I heard he's almost never even had a cold. He's an extremely healthy kid. But none of my family besides me are vegan, partly because of their belief that animal products are necessary for health.
This whole post was great and I could go on and on, but I won't. You summed it up perfectly and gave me something to think about. (I'm still floored that people were so rude and completely out of line to approach a stranger to scold them about not shaving...although I'm sure you had to pick your battles, I hope you told them where to go!). :)
There are men out there (I am one) who find the absence or presence of body hair absolutely unimportant to the love and connection felt with a female friend, partner, or family member. And I am embarrassed that it's even ever made to be an issue, and like Krissa, I'm angry that anyone gave themselves the right to comment on your choice. Screw 'em.
To this discussion I would also add (I guess it fits in the category of social pressure and commodification) the awful, relentless stream of advertisements telling women (and even, nowadays, men) that there's something wrong with some part of their body that will be fixed with a product for sale, available for sale at your local drugstore or shopping mall. Pills, creams, potions, shampoos, razors, all endlessly hawked by plastic-looking models with fake smiles. As you wrote, ARTIFICIAL CONSTRAINTS. I'm not talking about products that help us maintain basic hygiene, of course, although there are many natural alternatives to the plastic one-use packaging stuff we're told we need to be healthy or attractive to others.
I was in my early 20's when I first began neglecting my "duties" of conforming to the feminine "norm". Make up just never felt right... Always like a sweaty mask. I wore it less and less and liked the "natural me" more and more... I also became *prematurely* gray well before my 30's. Never took to the bottle though, even against the advice of friends who said it would make me look so much younger. Fiddle-sticks! They are my gray hairs and I earned every one of them!
As to women always having to try harder for approval - Always having to pay-her-way via the script of social demands... We see this exploitation and imbalance in the livestock industries too don't we? As women's beauty is a commodity - Aren't females judged by their scoring condition and their fertility? Makes me shudder to connect the dots - But there they are!
If I could ever give advice to a younger woman... A younger me - I'd tell them to throw out the curling irons and eyebrow pluckers! Cast out the lifters, enhancers, reducers and miracle creams... Life's far too short to waste on someone else's critical eye. We know it's a rigged game anyway... They keep it that way so that authentic female confidence and presence is never achieved. We're distracted from ideas because of being pre-occupied with the way we look! And we'll always know our place because it's just where others tell us that it is. The wise among us know it isn't in shaved legs or polished nails. And for nonhuman females it isn't in how fast they can deliver the next batch of babies... Being female isn't part of a "value-chain"...
Thanks HGV - These issues certainly do merge. And they have equal consequence when we ignore that they do. Feminists would do well to align themselves with vegans as they are part of the same cause against a sucky society!
Oh... And the thing about strangers being offended by anything you do on your body??? Let them remain "strange" in the realm of progress and rationality. Old, fossilized, sticks stuck in primordial goo!