Well, back in my I-wish-I-were-a-hippie days (late 80s if I remember correctly), I often wore cotton skirts way below my knees but not quite long enough to hide my hairy legs, and while I wasn't surprised by people being surprised, I was taken aback by the amount of anger it generated. The hair on my legs not only grossed some people out, it really upset them. And while it never bothered anyone that I was in a personal relationship with, I can't tell you the number of strangers (men, women, of all ages) who would approach me and angrily demand to know why I didn't shave. My legs were a personal affront to them, and they sure let me know it. Although it was annoying at the time (and I soon gave up skirts altogether), I was also quite fascinated by the response and tried to figure out what was going on.
What I had done, of course, was breach public convention and upset the status quo. I had tampered with the notion of what a woman's body should look like and how she should present herself. In short, I had made people uncomfortable. It gave me a taste though of what it might be like to be pregnant and have strangers make remarks about something that is none of their business, or what it would be like to have a visible disability. But while folk don't usually get mad at expectant mothers or people in wheelchairs, choosing to flaunt convention sometimes made me feel I should get ready for a public flogging.
But what specifically does this have to do with veganism? Well, as you already know, daring to be different comes with a price. Seeing someone who doesn't look or eat the way you expect others to look and eat can be upsetting. And if something as innocuous and impersonal as a woman not shaving can send someone right out of their comfort zone (and forget their manners), then you can imagine how charged a topic food can be. While someone can easily dismiss a hairy faux pas, tee hee (after all, if every decent woman knows enough to shave then I don't have to think of this as an issue), eating is a bit too close to home. Most omnivores probably don't think too much about food beyond financial and health implications, and likely rarely consider that there may be political, environmental and animal-welfare consequences of their food choices until they encounter vegans. Seeing or hearing about someone who eats very differently but who belongs to a similar group can be jarring, especially if they do so because they don't want to consume animals. Because what does that imply or say about your own food choices? Not as easy to dismiss anymore.
And remember the popular slogan of the women's movement the personal is political? It was and still is, but the culinary is political too, and perhaps even more so.
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In many ways, femininity really is a social construction. Men, for the most part, are thought of as male without having to do too much extra. Get up, get dressed, get out the door, and you're not likely to be accused of not being masculine enough. Women on the other hand are required to take additional, and I would argue artificial, steps before showing up in public. Remove all body hair except for what grows on your head. Sorry, but if it wasn't natural for hair to grow in certain places, it wouldn't grow there. Head hair needs inordinate amounts of attention to be considered presentable: washed, dried, styled, gelled, sprayed, coloured, tinted, trimmed, and if female, not cut too short. But you're not done yet. Jewelry, accessories, shoes and clothes need to be picked out carefully. Ever notice how fashion shows and magazines are obsessed with women's clothes being feminine enough? But when was the last time you heard men's shirts being referred to as masculine, or that "masculinity" is the trend for this season? And staying away from the topic of cosmetic surgery to "improve" women (a whole post unto itself), what is natural about putting man-made colour onto nails, cheeks, lips and eyelids in order to be thought of as suitably feminine?
Now I'm not arguing here that women shouldn't shave, or pay attention to their hair, or wear makeup, but to just be aware that these are artificial constraints. And that what is considered feminine has been commodified, because sadly, appearance is still viewed as one of the most important aspects of being a woman. When was the last time you saw a female newscaster who wasn't attractive? Who wasn't wearing makeup? Just saying.
Gosh, haven't had a feminist rant like this in a long time. I feel quite refreshed, snort. Thanks for listening. ;)
His book titled The Way We Eat, co-authored with Peter Singer, was one of the first books I read when I went vegan. It was one of the few books my local library had that addressed the how we treated animals.
Misothery...a good catch.
I find it scary that hatred of women gets 500k more hits than hatred of men...and even more scary that hatred of humans only gets a paltry half a million hits.
Maybe we do have a name for animal-hater, however it's not overtly used that way although in practice that's exactly what it is. Meat-eater (or carnivore for those who think it makes them sound tough) or follower of the Standard American Diet...these human animals are animal haters in what they do. Instead we can now call them misotherists. :-)
Thanks for the new term.
"it reminds me of the dangers when we don't have proper names for things so commonplace, so underlying just about everything, and yet so silent." ... this was very powerful when I read it and I had thoughts immediately of comments I was going to make until I read the next sentence. And I have to admit, I felt a bit bad that I didn't know anything about Betty Frieden. So I read the link you provided and did some thinking about that, too. As long as women have a choice as to whether or not they are going to be wives, mothers and/or work outside the home, then I think things are ok. It's only if there's not a choice other than to be at home taking care of kids that it's not ok - and I won't point out which cultures in the world are still like this today. But I have a feeling that the sheer fact that it was so expected of a woman back then to aspire to nothing else that that's why so many women were feeling what Betty Frieden wrote about. I'll tell ya what, if we didn't have financial woes from my not being able to work outside the home full-time, I would have no problem whatsoever being a "housewife" (for lack of a better word). I've had so many jobs and the only one I didn't hate was my volunteer job at the shelter. Work to keep a home up and running is hard work and deserving of respect. As I mentioned and I'm sure we can all agree, it's only when it's compulsory that it's a problem.
Now I went on way too long about that part of the post. The term Misothery is new to me, too. But it's a topic I've been thinking on a bit lately in a way. I'll skip some details to keep this to the point, but I've seen so many examples that show how naturally drawn to and caring for other animals that human babies and small children are. It's SICKENING that the natural instinct of our own species to live in peace and harmony with other creatures is squashed for most of us before we get out of childhood. I know that kids in North America are not innocent of this kind of thing entirely, but by about age 8, here in Germany, is when I notice the cut off that children begin to be total ___holes to other animals. That's what Nick remember from his childhood as well. It's pretty common here not just with Germans, but with the large Turkish and other cultures living here. Instead of wondering why this is that we do this to our kids and how it came to be over the centuries, I will just focus on what we can possibly do to change it. Up until now, I've really let kids have it when I see them hitting defenseless little creatures here, teasing and tormenting dogs, etc. I am going to try with all my might next time to talk to them calmly and try to explain to them why what they are doing isn't ok. They're learning their bad behavior at home and from friends and so the influence of an auslander might not be long-lasting or far-reaching, but I can talk easily with children here so I'll give that a try.
Another long rambling comment from me!!! :) Snort! And that wasn't even all I had to say, but I think it's enough. Thanks for another thought-provoking post. :)
You wrote "hate crimes based on species" and this fits accurately into the results of misothery. I love this word/idea! Lots to ponder! Thanks for this post!
Just found out about this group: http://www.seashepherd.org/cove-guardians
yesterday. It reminded me of your Captivity is Cruel t-shirt. .. The site has a lot on it that is very emotional, but it's also good to know there are people out there trying to help.
Hi, Misery for animals! That just about sums it up. Thanks for highlighting it.
Anne
so what is a person suffering from misothery, (like my landlord who has a no pets rule and forced me to put my beloved cat in foster care via PAWS)?
a misotherp? now that has a great ring to it! sounds like twerp!
(and i will develop misandry toward him as long as i live here. anus.)